“Everything has its own place and function. That applies to people, although many don't seem to realize it, stuck as
they are in the wrong job, the wrong marriage, or the wrong house. When you know and respect your Inner Nature, you
know where you belong. You also know where you don't belong.” Benjamin Hoff, The Tao of Pooh
In my late 20s I moved into a flat in South–West London that I loved. It was near the river Thames and had original
Victorian features that I spent many weekends patiently restoring. I decorated, cleaned, made contacts in the local
area and found my favourite places to eat, drink and dance. I became so settled that, a couple of years later, I couldn’t
imagine living anywhere else.
Then I went on my first solo touring holiday, to Australia. There were a number of surprises on that trip as I challenged
myself. And one major revelation was that I didn’t miss my home. The memory of my flat faded and I realised it
wasn’t so important. I questioned why I had devoted so much time to it. It still took a while for me to realise I could
re-create networks of contacts and find local services wherever I based myself. It was a process of letting go. And
letting go (selling ) the flat enabled me to finance my travels.
When I first travelled to Asia, I lived in other people’s homes and ‘house sat’ when people were on holiday. I
developed a habit of doing some thorough cleaning- partly as a thank you to my host and partly I think my version of
Fueng Shui space clearing . I would then make myself cosy, buying or making cheap, simple things I needed- mirror,
hook, box etc. and giving these away when I left. When I did voluntary work in Northern Thailand, I basically lived in a
cupboard but I made it so homely my colleagues went quickly from sympathy to envy!
Perhaps it’s my Cancer star sign that means I enjoy creating my home where ever I am? I’ve found I can adapt to most
circumstances- house mates, small spaces, temple chanting at dawn. It is important for me to feel ‘at home’ and
create a nurturing environment to live in and I’m happy to invest in this. But I’m also wary of carrying too much
unnecessary stuff that will weigh me down on this life journey.
I’ve already written about the effect de-cluttering has on me. and, just because I can create a home wherever I want to
be, does that mean I belong everywhere or no where? Is it just about picking a place and deciding to belong there or is
there something more?
In Devon I met people who had grown up locally and, despite spending time in other parts of the country and abroad,
had returned. One older man didn’t feel he’d want to live anywhere else, the local area held so many happy memories
for him. I like to visit the towns I grew up in. There are some places and memories that make me smile but I wouldn’t
want to live in them. I’ve changed and they’ve changed and I don’t feel a sense of belonging to the place. My Coach
talks about the importance of being Scottish for her, even though she lives on the South Coast. Perhaps the place
needs to have a strong identity of its own before it can inspire its residents? Is it the history or beauty? Edward Abbey
feels its down to nature....
“A city man is a home anywhere, for all big cities are much alike. But a country man has a place where he belongs,
where he always returns, and where, when the time comes, he is willing to die.”
Edward Abbey (1927 - 1989) A Voice Crying in the Wilderness
I feel an affinity with water and I’d like to live by the sea, being somewhere beautiful is important to me now. Of
course there are the practicalities of having access to good local shops, social and learning opportunities, preferably in
walking distance. And then there's the openness of the people and their values. I guess if all my friends and family
lived in one place, that's where I'd want to be. But as they are so spread out, it's community spirit I'm seeking.
Lamma Island in Hong Kong had a wonderful hippy style community, Bangkok I felt had pockets of community and I
enjoyed different aspects of different groups. Sarasi’s Family Constellations workshop in Devon was full of like
minded people and I met up with a fellow participant when I was there recently. She suggested calling into an
alternative festival. And suddenly, there was my community, They dressed colourfully and individually, smiled and
laughed a lot, said poems, sang about things that mattered, noticed energy and danced easily. I felt at home even
though I’d only spoken to a handful of people.
This was a temporary gathering and soon people dispersed. In the UK I found some of the same atmosphere in
Totness and some in Whitstable and I know now where I’m aiming. I’m not wanting to join a commune or Ashram,
give up working and home comforts or opt out of mainstream society, but I would like to be in a place where the
majority share my values and I can get involved.
In the meantime I'm seeking out 'my community' in temporary gatherings and on-line groups and keeping my eyes
open for opportunities that bring me closer to my ideal. As Benjamin Hoff says it's all a process of honing self-
awareness and making choices in alignment with my Inner Nature.
Have you found your ideal place? Do you have a strong sense of community? Do you find your community on-line or
in temportary groups? I'd love to hear your views. info@soulsanook.com or find the group Living our Soul Sanook on
Facebook
Debbie Reeds, Life and Executive Coach, www.soulsanook.com
they are in the wrong job, the wrong marriage, or the wrong house. When you know and respect your Inner Nature, you
know where you belong. You also know where you don't belong.” Benjamin Hoff, The Tao of Pooh
In my late 20s I moved into a flat in South–West London that I loved. It was near the river Thames and had original
Victorian features that I spent many weekends patiently restoring. I decorated, cleaned, made contacts in the local
area and found my favourite places to eat, drink and dance. I became so settled that, a couple of years later, I couldn’t
imagine living anywhere else.
Then I went on my first solo touring holiday, to Australia. There were a number of surprises on that trip as I challenged
myself. And one major revelation was that I didn’t miss my home. The memory of my flat faded and I realised it
wasn’t so important. I questioned why I had devoted so much time to it. It still took a while for me to realise I could
re-create networks of contacts and find local services wherever I based myself. It was a process of letting go. And
letting go (selling ) the flat enabled me to finance my travels.
When I first travelled to Asia, I lived in other people’s homes and ‘house sat’ when people were on holiday. I
developed a habit of doing some thorough cleaning- partly as a thank you to my host and partly I think my version of
Fueng Shui space clearing . I would then make myself cosy, buying or making cheap, simple things I needed- mirror,
hook, box etc. and giving these away when I left. When I did voluntary work in Northern Thailand, I basically lived in a
cupboard but I made it so homely my colleagues went quickly from sympathy to envy!
Perhaps it’s my Cancer star sign that means I enjoy creating my home where ever I am? I’ve found I can adapt to most
circumstances- house mates, small spaces, temple chanting at dawn. It is important for me to feel ‘at home’ and
create a nurturing environment to live in and I’m happy to invest in this. But I’m also wary of carrying too much
unnecessary stuff that will weigh me down on this life journey.
I’ve already written about the effect de-cluttering has on me. and, just because I can create a home wherever I want to
be, does that mean I belong everywhere or no where? Is it just about picking a place and deciding to belong there or is
there something more?
In Devon I met people who had grown up locally and, despite spending time in other parts of the country and abroad,
had returned. One older man didn’t feel he’d want to live anywhere else, the local area held so many happy memories
for him. I like to visit the towns I grew up in. There are some places and memories that make me smile but I wouldn’t
want to live in them. I’ve changed and they’ve changed and I don’t feel a sense of belonging to the place. My Coach
talks about the importance of being Scottish for her, even though she lives on the South Coast. Perhaps the place
needs to have a strong identity of its own before it can inspire its residents? Is it the history or beauty? Edward Abbey
feels its down to nature....
“A city man is a home anywhere, for all big cities are much alike. But a country man has a place where he belongs,
where he always returns, and where, when the time comes, he is willing to die.”
Edward Abbey (1927 - 1989) A Voice Crying in the Wilderness
I feel an affinity with water and I’d like to live by the sea, being somewhere beautiful is important to me now. Of
course there are the practicalities of having access to good local shops, social and learning opportunities, preferably in
walking distance. And then there's the openness of the people and their values. I guess if all my friends and family
lived in one place, that's where I'd want to be. But as they are so spread out, it's community spirit I'm seeking.
Lamma Island in Hong Kong had a wonderful hippy style community, Bangkok I felt had pockets of community and I
enjoyed different aspects of different groups. Sarasi’s Family Constellations workshop in Devon was full of like
minded people and I met up with a fellow participant when I was there recently. She suggested calling into an
alternative festival. And suddenly, there was my community, They dressed colourfully and individually, smiled and
laughed a lot, said poems, sang about things that mattered, noticed energy and danced easily. I felt at home even
though I’d only spoken to a handful of people.
This was a temporary gathering and soon people dispersed. In the UK I found some of the same atmosphere in
Totness and some in Whitstable and I know now where I’m aiming. I’m not wanting to join a commune or Ashram,
give up working and home comforts or opt out of mainstream society, but I would like to be in a place where the
majority share my values and I can get involved.
In the meantime I'm seeking out 'my community' in temporary gatherings and on-line groups and keeping my eyes
open for opportunities that bring me closer to my ideal. As Benjamin Hoff says it's all a process of honing self-
awareness and making choices in alignment with my Inner Nature.
Have you found your ideal place? Do you have a strong sense of community? Do you find your community on-line or
in temportary groups? I'd love to hear your views. info@soulsanook.com or find the group Living our Soul Sanook on
Debbie Reeds, Life and Executive Coach, www.soulsanook.com
A Sense of Belonging
Soul Sanook Coaching
Copyright 2009 Soul Sanook Coaching. All rights reserved. |
 | |  | |  | |  | |  | |  |
 | |  | |  | |  | |  |