“Everything has its own place and function. That applies to people, although many don't seem to realize it, stuck as they are in
the wrong job, the wrong marriage, or the wrong house. When you know and respect your Inner Nature, you know where you
belong. You also know where you don't belong.” Benjamin Hoff, The Tao of Pooh
In my late 20s I moved into a flat in South–West London that I loved. It was near the river Thames and had original Victorian
features that I spent many weekends patiently restoring. I decorated, cleaned, made contacts in the local area and found my
favourite places to eat, drink and dance. I became so settled that, a couple of years later, I couldn’t imagine living anywhere else.
Then I went on my first solo touring holiday, to Australia. There were a number of surprises on that trip as I challenged myself.
And one major revelation was that I didn’t miss my home. The memory of my flat faded and I realised it wasn’t so important. I
questioned why I had devoted so much time to it. It still took a while for me to realise I could re-create networks of contacts and
find local services wherever I based myself. It was a process of letting go. And letting go (selling ) the flat enabled me to finance
my travels.
When I first travelled to Asia, I lived in other people’s homes and ‘house sat’ when people were on holiday. I developed a habit of
doing some thorough cleaning- partly as a thank you to my host and partly I think my version of Fueng Shui space clearing . I
would then make myself cosy, buying or making cheap, simple things I needed- mirror, hook, box etc. and giving these away
when I left. When I did voluntary work in Northern Thailand, I basically lived in a cupboard but I made it so homely my colleagues
went quickly from sympathy to envy!
Perhaps it’s my Cancer star sign that means I enjoy creating my home where ever I am? I’ve found I can adapt to most
circumstances- house mates, small spaces, temple chanting at dawn. It is important for me to feel ‘at home’ and create a
nurturing environment to live in and I’m happy to invest in this. But I’m also wary of carrying too much unnecessary stuff that will
weigh me down on this life journey.
I’ve already written about the effect de-cluttering has on me. and, just because I can create a home wherever I want to be, does
that mean I belong everywhere or no where? Is it just about picking a place and deciding to belong there or is there something
more?
In Devon I met people who had grown up locally and, despite spending time in other parts of the country and abroad, had
returned. One older man didn’t feel he’d want to live anywhere else, the local area held so many happy memories for him. I like to
visit the towns I grew up in. There are some places and memories that make me smile but I wouldn’t want to live in them. I’ve
changed and they’ve changed and I don’t feel a sense of belonging to the place. My Coach talks about the importance of being
Scottish for her, even though she lives on the South Coast. Perhaps the place needs to have a strong identity of its own before it
can inspire its residents? Is it the history or beauty? Edward Abbey feels its down to nature....
“A city man is a home anywhere, for all big cities are much alike. But a country man has a place where he belongs, where he always
returns, and where, when the time comes, he is willing to die.”
Edward Abbey (1927 - 1989) A Voice Crying in the Wilderness
I feel an affinity with water and I’d like to live by the sea, being somewhere beautiful is important to me now. Of course there are
the practicalities of having access to good local shops, social and learning opportunities, preferably in walking distance. And then
there's the openness of the people and their values. I guess if all my friends and family lived in one place, that's where I'd want to
be. But as they are so spread out, it's community spirit I'm seeking.
Lamma Island in Hong Kong had a wonderful hippy style community, Bangkok I felt had pockets of community and I enjoyed
different aspects of different groups. Sarasi’s Family Constellations workshop in Devon was full of like minded people and I met up
with a fellow participant when I was there recently. She suggested calling into an alternative festival. And suddenly, there was my
community, They dressed colourfully and individually, smiled and laughed a lot, said poems, sang about things that mattered,
noticed energy and danced easily. I felt at home even though I’d only spoken to a handful of people.
This was a temporary gathering and soon people dispersed. In the UK I found some of the same atmosphere in Totness and some
in Whitstable and I know now where I’m aiming. I’m not wanting to join a commune or Ashram, give up working and home
comforts or opt out of mainstream society, but I would like to be in a place where the majority share my values and I can get
involved.
In the meantime I'm seeking out 'my community' in temporary gatherings and on-line groups and keeping my eyes open for
opportunities that bring me closer to my ideal. As Benjamin Hoff says it's all a process of honing self-awareness and making choices
in alignment with my Inner Nature.
the wrong job, the wrong marriage, or the wrong house. When you know and respect your Inner Nature, you know where you
belong. You also know where you don't belong.” Benjamin Hoff, The Tao of Pooh
In my late 20s I moved into a flat in South–West London that I loved. It was near the river Thames and had original Victorian
features that I spent many weekends patiently restoring. I decorated, cleaned, made contacts in the local area and found my
favourite places to eat, drink and dance. I became so settled that, a couple of years later, I couldn’t imagine living anywhere else.
Then I went on my first solo touring holiday, to Australia. There were a number of surprises on that trip as I challenged myself.
And one major revelation was that I didn’t miss my home. The memory of my flat faded and I realised it wasn’t so important. I
questioned why I had devoted so much time to it. It still took a while for me to realise I could re-create networks of contacts and
find local services wherever I based myself. It was a process of letting go. And letting go (selling ) the flat enabled me to finance
my travels.
When I first travelled to Asia, I lived in other people’s homes and ‘house sat’ when people were on holiday. I developed a habit of
doing some thorough cleaning- partly as a thank you to my host and partly I think my version of Fueng Shui space clearing . I
would then make myself cosy, buying or making cheap, simple things I needed- mirror, hook, box etc. and giving these away
when I left. When I did voluntary work in Northern Thailand, I basically lived in a cupboard but I made it so homely my colleagues
went quickly from sympathy to envy!
Perhaps it’s my Cancer star sign that means I enjoy creating my home where ever I am? I’ve found I can adapt to most
circumstances- house mates, small spaces, temple chanting at dawn. It is important for me to feel ‘at home’ and create a
nurturing environment to live in and I’m happy to invest in this. But I’m also wary of carrying too much unnecessary stuff that will
weigh me down on this life journey.
I’ve already written about the effect de-cluttering has on me. and, just because I can create a home wherever I want to be, does
that mean I belong everywhere or no where? Is it just about picking a place and deciding to belong there or is there something
more?
In Devon I met people who had grown up locally and, despite spending time in other parts of the country and abroad, had
returned. One older man didn’t feel he’d want to live anywhere else, the local area held so many happy memories for him. I like to
visit the towns I grew up in. There are some places and memories that make me smile but I wouldn’t want to live in them. I’ve
changed and they’ve changed and I don’t feel a sense of belonging to the place. My Coach talks about the importance of being
Scottish for her, even though she lives on the South Coast. Perhaps the place needs to have a strong identity of its own before it
can inspire its residents? Is it the history or beauty? Edward Abbey feels its down to nature....
“A city man is a home anywhere, for all big cities are much alike. But a country man has a place where he belongs, where he always
returns, and where, when the time comes, he is willing to die.”
Edward Abbey (1927 - 1989) A Voice Crying in the Wilderness
I feel an affinity with water and I’d like to live by the sea, being somewhere beautiful is important to me now. Of course there are
the practicalities of having access to good local shops, social and learning opportunities, preferably in walking distance. And then
there's the openness of the people and their values. I guess if all my friends and family lived in one place, that's where I'd want to
be. But as they are so spread out, it's community spirit I'm seeking.
Lamma Island in Hong Kong had a wonderful hippy style community, Bangkok I felt had pockets of community and I enjoyed
different aspects of different groups. Sarasi’s Family Constellations workshop in Devon was full of like minded people and I met up
with a fellow participant when I was there recently. She suggested calling into an alternative festival. And suddenly, there was my
community, They dressed colourfully and individually, smiled and laughed a lot, said poems, sang about things that mattered,
noticed energy and danced easily. I felt at home even though I’d only spoken to a handful of people.
This was a temporary gathering and soon people dispersed. In the UK I found some of the same atmosphere in Totness and some
in Whitstable and I know now where I’m aiming. I’m not wanting to join a commune or Ashram, give up working and home
comforts or opt out of mainstream society, but I would like to be in a place where the majority share my values and I can get
involved.
In the meantime I'm seeking out 'my community' in temporary gatherings and on-line groups and keeping my eyes open for
opportunities that bring me closer to my ideal. As Benjamin Hoff says it's all a process of honing self-awareness and making choices
in alignment with my Inner Nature.
A Sense of Belonging ~ Choosing your Location & Community
| First appeared in Soul Sanook newsletter July 2009 www.soulsanook.com info@soulsanook.com Back to top Copyright 2009 Soul Sanook Coaching. All rights reserved. |
